A Bad Flu
by jamesandlilypotter81
Summary: The worst part of falling in love, she thinks, is that she doesn't know when or how it happened. It sort of crept up on her like a bad flu—she knew she had the early symptoms, but was still shocked when she ended up with the high fever.


The worst part of falling in love, she thinks, is that she doesn't know when or how it happened. It sort of crept up on her like a bad flu—she knew she had the early symptoms, but was still shocked when she ended up with the high fever.

She is at the Gryffindor table, her lunch sitting in front of her, totally forgotten. She is somehow unable to look away from where he sits, the girl next to him practically sitting on his lap. Lily merely studies the couple as the minutes tick away, before she forces herself to refocus her attention. She's always known she can stand to lose a few pounds, but at that moment, she believes a dozen or so would be better. Perhaps if she was taller, her hair was tamer, and she didn't have that silly splash of freckles on her nose, _she_ would be the one sitting next to him. Not the dark-haired girl at the Ravenclaw table.

Not Emily Watts.

"Finally caught on, have you?" Lily looks up to see that Sirius has slid into the seat across from her, officially impairing her view of the couple. "Took you long enough," he continues, looking very pleased with himself, as if he is enormously clever.

"Here to gloat, Sirius?"

"Gloat? Why would I gloat?" he asks, actually looking rather curious. He turns briefly to study the couple—who are now snogging, something that Lily hopes McGonagall will notice soon and put a stop to—and then looks back at her carefully. "How are you?" Lily is shocked by the pity in his tone and the softness in his eyes. It's because of that—and that alone—that she finds herself answering.

"I'm okay," she says softly, picking up her fork and playing with the potatoes on her plate. "It's not a big deal—I'll get over it." Sirius doesn't answer right away. Instead, he reaches out and actually takes her hand gently.

"For such a smart girl, you can be so thick, Evans."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He grins at her, and it's not like his normal grins, the smug, self-assured ones. It's kind, almost as if his entire purpose for smiling at her is to somehow cheer her up. It's completely selfless, and Lily is a little surprised.

Because surely _Sirius Black_ wasn't being selfless, was he?

"You're thick because all you have to do to get him away from _Watts—_" he says the name like a curse, and Lily finds herself giving more credence to the rumors that Potter's newest girlfriend had caused a rift among the four close friends, "is to show interest in him."

"I don't work that way," she answers softly, looking down. "You know I don't."

"Doesn't it hurt?" She doesn't even hesitate to answer.

"Yes."

"Then you've got to learn to be malleable, Evans." He grins again, that kind, selfless smile that Lily realizes is the one he reserves for people he considers to be friends, the very thought making her feel just a little bit warmer. "You can't go through life without changing."

"You would know, wouldn't you?" Though she states it as a question, she's sure it's fact. He has grown a great deal from the arrogant first year that strutted about the castle with an upturned nose.

"I would." They lapse into a silence after that, Lily staring at the table morosely while Sirius grips her hand as if he can't bear to let go. It's the closest gesture to friendship she's had in a while, and she revels in the contact.

It truly isn't easy to be a muggleborn in times like these.

Finally, after what seems like hours, but is most likely only several minutes, he speaks up once more. "So what're you going to do, Head Girl?"

"I want to get over this flu," she tells him, and she can tell he's confused. His head is tilted to the side, and his eyes never leave hers.

"You're going to try to move on?" he guesses, annoyance flashing on his face before he manages to hide it. Lily actually finds herself laughing, impressed by his loyalty to his friend.

"Oh, Sirius, relax, I'm—" But before she can tell him what she means, the very boy she'd been watching from afar—her heart thudding painfully in her chest as she watches Emily Watts wrap her arms around his neck—sits down next to Sirius, his eyes fixated on their joined hands.

"Cozy, are we?" he asks in lieu of salutations. Sirius immediately pulls his hand away, and Lily misses the contact. For a few minutes—just a few minutes—it felt as if she had a friend again.

"Evans isn't feeling well," Sirius lies easily, grinning at James. It's not the same selfless grin he had before. It's guarded, and Lily realizes that Sirius isn't happy with his friend. "I've been trying to cheer her up." James stares at Sirius for a moment—as if trying to determine how honest he's being—but then he turns to Lily with a worried expression on his face.

"Do you want to go to the Hospital Wing?" he asks, his eyes practically boring into hers. "I can walk you, I don't care about missing Charms—" She can tell he's rambling, and she fakes a laugh in order to put a stop to it.

"No, I'm fine. I think I'll just go to the common room to rest."

"You sure? I can come with you—"

"No, James. It's okay. _Really_," she insists when it looks like he doesn't believe her. From next to him, Sirius snorts, shaking his head in disappointment, but Lily ignores him. "I'm just tired." Sirius snorts again, and James looks at him curiously. Lily thinks she can see a hint of annoyance, and even worse, a bit of jealously in James's gaze, and she wishes Sirius would be silent.

She has enough trouble with James as it was, she really doesn't need to add more.

Just as she's about to stand to leave, _Emily_ _Watts_ prances over, throwing herself onto James. She's all smiles and her cheeks have a rosy glow, and Lily suddenly wishes she would just go away. A dozen or so spells flit through her mind, but she pushes the thoughts away immediately.

She's rather sure that attacking his current girlfriend for no reason would let James know _exactly _how she feels about him.

Sirius, however, doesn't seem to have the same reservations as Lily, because the moment he sees Emily sit down, he rolls his eyes and lets out a disgusted sort of snort. "You mind, Watts? We're having a conversation."

"Oh, James and I don't have any secrets," Emily replies breezily as James glares at Sirius. Lily, who had been silent thus far, suddenly feels something snap inside her. She stands, putting a hand to her head, and letting her eyes flutter close dramatically.

"I feel a little woozy," she says weakly, and Sirius—the enormously clever boy he is—catches on quickly, to Lily's ultimate relief.

"You might want to help her after all, Prongs. Otherwise, I think Evans here might have a nasty fall down the stairs." James looks positively terrified by this prospect, and he stands so quickly that Emily nearly falls to the floor. For a fleeting moment, Lily wants to feel sorry for the other girl, but she finds she can't. She'd heard Emily talking to several other Ravenclaws about how she'd be 'set for life' if she managed to snag James Potter. The comment had rankled Lily since.

So instead, Lily allows James to grab her bag, and after he walks over to her side of the table, she even lets him gently take her arm—just in case she feels faint, he says innocently, though his eyes glimmer, and there's a hint of a mischievous smirk on his face as he speaks.

"So, decided a bit of the flu isn't too bad after all, huh?" Sirius says, grinning his selfless grin, looking positively delighted by the outcome of their chat. Lily smiles back at him.

"I've decided a bit of a fever is perfectly all right." Sirius snorts, and James looks at her in confusion, even going as far as placing the back of his hand against her forehead, as if to see if she was delirious with fever.

And Lily's heart thuds in her chest, but for the first time, it's not painful.


End file.
